Over the past few weeks Mistress has made some changes to the routine. Every couple of weeks we spend the day together with very relaxed protocols. I still serve her but I am permitted to wear “man clothes” and we converse on an informal level.
On those days we will have food delivered for dinner and veg out, usually marathon watching all or part of season of a serial drama and talk about it as we go. This is a bit of a surprise but it is also a nice change of pace. I can tell that she wants me to be able to function better in case of emergencies or time apart. I picture if this is what life would be like if we were a more normal married couple. If she has to be gone for a few extra hours or leaves town for a business trip she permits me to spend a couple of hours a day after my chores are finished watching new episodes of shows that she has already seen. I haven’t watched TV in years so almost everything is new to me. This helps ease my mind and combat the loneliness.
Mistress jokingly calls these days our “date nights,” even though they don’t really resemble dates and they last most of the day. The shows she chooses are quite good and I do enjoy the conversations. It reminds me a little bit of our first couple of months together. Before bedtime on those nights she is careful to bring me back into subspace. I’m locked back into my uniform and spend about a half an hour kneeling in the corner to mentally prepare myself and it gives us time to return to our normal selves. Those nights I sleep in the cage to reinforce the position. After these days I feel a little bit safer and more confident.
A few weeks later, Mistress approaches me with something new.
“pet, I need to ask you something.”
“I have been thinking about something for a couple of months now and turning it over again and again in my mind about it trying to find a way that it would work. After reading a Femdom blog from a very talented author that is also a Dominant woman, I decided I want to give it a try, but I need your consent to do this. pet, have you ever thought about what it would be like if we were more like a true Mistress and slave?”
“Yes, Mistress, I have had a fantasy or two about that before.”
“I like what we have now, but at times I feel a darkness growing inside of me… like something in me is waking up and wants some attention. There are a lot of things that scare me about this. I have no idea what I will like and how much I will like it. I might hate it, but I might really come to love it. It may change me. It also might change you. What are your thoughts on this?”
“Is this something you think you need to find out, Mistress?”
She looks me straight in the eyes.
“pet, I think I could live without it but I will always wonder…”
“Do you feel like this may help you grow, Mistress? To continue to evolve as a Dominant woman?”
“I do, pet. I want you to know that you are enough for me. That things are enough for me. I just can’t shake the feeling of what could be. Who I might become. This isn’t something that I want for us full time, but I would like to experience enough to feel if this might be right for me.”
“What did you have in mind, Mistress?”
“A 3-day weekend, pet. Different dynamics, new rules, stricter rules… it will be different… feel different.”
“I will still love you, Mistress.”
“I know, pet, but will you be okay if you feel like I don’t love you?”
My mind spins. At one time or another I have fantasized about this, but if experience has taught me anything, fantasies as realities can be more harmful than good. Our eyes meet again. She looks different… vulnerable. Her heart is open to me right now. I love her. My Queen. My Goddess. I want to please you. I harden my resolve.
“Mistress, as long as I know there is an end, I will endure whatever you ask of me.”
She embraces me. I feel her breath on my neck. I hug her back. I will do anything for you, Mistress. My wife.
“There is a holiday weekend a few weeks away pet, we will try it then.”
“I love you, Mistress.”
“I love you, too, pet.”
The next few weeks are normal but I know Mistress has been doing lots of preparation. She spends more time on the phone, picking the brains of Dommes she knows that have experience in TPE. I try no to eavesdrop, but over-hearing some is inevitable. Those 3 days will be a relationship without love. I will feel what it is like to be property. Mistress will be cruel. I brace myself for the worst.
In the days leading up to the weekend Mistress has me learn a few body positions by number.
Position 1: On my knees. Forehead on the floor. Arms extended above my head with mypalms flat on the floor.
Position 2: On my knees. Heels together. Knees spread wide. Hands behind my head. Head down.
Position 3: On all fours. Knees and hips bent at exactly 90 degree angles. Head down.
Position 4: Standing. Legs spread as wide as possible. Hands behind my head. Head down.
Position 5: Standing. Feet shoulder width apart. I’m bent over steeply at the waist. My hands are low, between my ankles.
We train until they are second nature. Mistress calls them out and I react, shifting my body immediately. We work on this until I am perfect. As I improve my speed, consistency, and accuracy I can see her eyes. She is proud of me. My heart fills with warmth. I fondly recall memories of our earlier days. The training, the effort, every fiber of my body wanting to please her. I know that she enjoys this too. Those feelings rush back. I feel my love grow for her. I hope she feels this way too.
The weekend approaches. Friday night we break routine. Mistress releases me from my uniform. I wash and shave my body. She shaves my head. She puts me to bed in the dungeon cage. I am naked except for my chastity belt. She turns up the heat so that I am warm. My eyes grow heavy. Tomorrow will be different. I am nervous. Butterflies dance through my stomach like it’s the night before the first day of school. My eyes slump. Mistress, I love you.