I wake for the morning feeding feeling peaceful and rested. Lauren’s warmth and comforts soothed me and calmed the conflicted storm of my feelings of my first day in prison. She reminded me of how much I still need closeness and intimacy.
Only 2 guards show up for the morning’s activities, Mistress and Lauren. Their uniforms are different today, each wears an extra fur vest over their coats and I see a pair of leather chaps covering their legs and boots. Knowing Mistress I would guess they are fur-lined, which leads me to believe that today will be colder than yesterday. My heart sinks a little, knowing that Mistress’s actions yesterday denied my privilege of a coat.
They perform the head count with the humiliating bathroom break soon after. I don’t know exactly why it makes me feel so embarrassed, probably because it’s 1 more example of them stripping my dignity away. Mistress releases my handcuffs and orders me to strip. As I undress I feel myself blushing, which puzzles me since I have stripped for Mistress and others hundreds of times. The difference is Lauren; she has worked her way into my thoughts and feelings. I feel ashamed that she will see me this way.
She chains me to the wall in the far corner while Lauren hoses me down with cold water. It chills me to my core; I thrash about unable to avoid its stream. I am truly helpless in this hell. Mistress unchains me and presents me with a very small, rough, and not very absorbent towel. I wipe the water off but it doesn’t do anything for warming my body. After they permit me to brush my teeth and they present me with a clean uniform.
Today’s uniform has some slight changes. The mask covering my face is different. Its front is tapered so that it doesn’t cover my mouth or chin. An earmuff harness similar to my home uniform is locked onto my head. A gag with a dildo ring on the front is the final touch; it still has an air hole but this time it is buckled and locked on over the mask. In other circumstances I would hate the earmuff harness. Today I welcome anything that will help keep me warm.
My hands are cuffed behind me and the metal collar closes around my neck for transport. Mistress presses a button on a device. A voice enters my ears through speakers in the earmuffs; it is Tabitha’s voice.
The voice plays back random phrases, too numerous for me to remember them all.
“You are worthless.”
“Your life is meaningless without her guidance.”
“Women are to be obeyed and cherished.”
“You deserve to suffer.”
“You must earn the right to contribute to society.”
“Disobedience will be punished.”
“Pain is the best teaching tool.”
Over and over they continue; the words are too loud to tune out, too true for me to disagree with.
Mistress’s voice comes through the speakers, quieting the looping voice.
“Inmate, your lack of compliance with the rules and poor attitude has caused us to introduce something that was originally slated for stage 2. You will memorize every line verbatim. They are a part of your rehabilitation and will be necessary for your parole.”
The words become my inner mantra. My mind speaks along with them, over and over, loop after loop. They make me feel like a criminal.
The sandbags go faster today even though my muscles still ache from the day before. Mistress and Lauren alternate each cycle. Lauren sneaks me some warming packs at the start of her shift and removes them before she switches out with Mistress. She whispers to me over my headset while I trek, she keeps my spirits up with positive words.
Mistress frisks me thoroughly at every shift change. She walks with me as I go, landing random blows with the strap at random intervals to keep me ‘motivated.’ She doesn’t speak to me, all I can hear are Tabitha’s words repeating. A strong wind and snow flurries makes it impossible for me to see the details of her mask, let alone trying to see her face or eyes. She feels like a stranger and I feel cold and alone. I wish she wasn’t a guard. The thought makes me sick to my stomach.
I earn lunch today and I eagerly suck down the foul taste. My average pace with Lauren is almost 10 bags ahead of the shifts with Mistress. I stay well ahead of the quota now that Dominique and Tabitha aren’t on duty. They must have gotten bored and asked out of this role.
I finish all 480 bags 50 minutes ahead of schedule. I smile behind the gag knowing that tomorrow I will have a coat and I am 1 day closer to completing stage 1.
Lauren’s voice enters my ears.
“Good job today, I’m so proud of you.”
I blush a little and smile; my heart warms at her words. My ‘reward’ for finishing early is the unpleasant news that I must continue moving bags for the entire 12 hours. I shake it off basking in the glow of today’s accomplishments.
The routine continues the same as the previous day. Dinner is a full bottle of the foul liquid. A head count follows soon after. My brain no longer questions the need for a count. It’s part of the suffering I must endure. The daily interview comes next. The audio loop through my headset goes silent for the first time today.
“Inmate 001, how do you feel?” My mind reacts on its own.
“001 is worthless. 001 deserves to suffer. 001’s life is meaningless without your guidance.”
“How did you feel moving the bags?”
“001 was glad for the opportunity to earn the right to contribute to society.”
“Does the inmate feel like he deserves this?”
“001 deserves to suffer. 001 is a criminal.”
The camera beeps and the red light goes dark. Voices cycle from behind the lights.
“I think the inmate has a bad case of lip service, don’t you agree?”
“Definitely. I think today was too easy for him.”
“Way too easy. I think we should teach him a lesson. All in favor?”
A chorus of voices echo “Aye.”
“Inmate, up against the wall.”
I rise from the stool and press my chest against the back wall. Fear consumes me and I tremble uncontrollably. I hear their boots click against the floor. The sound of leather on leather comes from multiple directions as they tap the straps against their gloved hands. I begin to weep.
“Crying already? What a pussy.”
I can’t resist. My voice squeaks as I speak.
“Please don’t hurt me…”
“Can you believe the balls on this one? He still has the nerve to talk out of turn.”
The straps rain down on me one after another. My back, my arms, my legs, my hands, my buttocks… all sting and burn under their blows. They are merciless, over and over, again and again. I cry out and wail under the pain. Mistress? Lauren? Please save me.
They beat me until they are exhausted. They beat me until I am limp on the floor. My body throbs with swelling and pain; I will be covered in bruises. I spend what’s left of my energy whimpering. The gag puts a stop to that.
Mistress and Tabitha drag me back to my cage. They shove me in and the door closes behind me. I slump on the floor, unable to move without pain. The last natural sound I hear is Mistress’s voice.
“Fuck, I was going to use him tonight but I doubt he’ll be able to even get me off.”
I lay motionless, sniffling to myself. The audio loop starts again.
“You are worthless.”
“You deserve to suffer.”
“Pain is the best teaching tool.”
The lights go out and I lay in the dark, my ears full of the reminders of why I should be here. I can’t sleep due to the pain.
A flashlight reaches my eyes forcing me to squint. I hear my cage open followed by Lauren’s voice through my headset.
“Are you okay? I’m here for you.” My ears perk up even if my body is broken.
I slide myself out of the cage, slithering like a worm on my stomach. Lauren sits down on the ground and I slide my way to her. She props up my upper body and holds me in her arms, pressing my face against her breasts. She wraps a blanket around us. She shares her heat with me and my body slowly warms to her. I rub my nose back and forth against her fur vest. She pets my head and rocks my back and forth. It soothes my heart. Her perfume fills my nose. She smells sweet.
“You’ll be okay. I will take care of you. Everything will be okay. Just keep making me proud.”
I close my eyes and snuggle up against her. Lauren you are an angel.