fs02: A Domme’s View – Arc 1 – Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The boy tugs against his chains, spread eagle on the bed. His naked flesh glistens with the slightest bit of sweat. I watch his steel encased penis rise up and down. Poor boy can’t get hard in that chastity cage. I smirk. That cock belongs to me.

I climb onto the bed and straddle his face. I have everything I need to please me right here. I will take from him what is mine. The pleasure is all mine and I don’t care to share it. I have this boy trained perfectly. His lips and tongue extend to meet me. He selflessly gives me pleasure. I rub my breasts with my hands as I grind down on him. Within seconds I begin to moan. Harder. Faster. I bite my lip and grab his hair with my hands.

Right there. That’s the spot. Harder. Faster. I let out a cry. This boy. My boy. You’re perfect for me.

Beep boop beep beep. Beep boop beep beep. Damn phone. Ignore it. Beep boop beep beep. Go to voicemail already.

I keep grinding. This mouth and tongue are mine to use as I please. I grab the vibe, rise up, and slide it inside me before resuming the position. The end of the vibe presses against his chin… and deeper inside of me. I yank his hair and pull him in with all my might.

“Show me how much you love me.”

Beep boop beep beep. Beep boop beep beep. Fucking phone. Shut up. Beep boop beep beep. Beep boop beep beep.

“Keep going, boy. Harder. Faster”
Beep boop beep beep. Beep boop beep beep. Fuck you, phone. Beep boop beep beep. I dismount his face and vanish from the fantasy.

I reach over the now empty bed and answer.
“Hello.” I don’t hide my annoyance.
“Hi, Wanda, whatcha doin?”
“God, Brie. You have the uncanny ability to interrupt me.”
“You were masturbating, weren’t ya?”
“I want to kill you.”

Brie, short for Brienne, is my best friend. We’ve known each other since college. She was there for me through everything. She was the maid of honor at my wedding. She carried me through my divorce. If she had a special defining characteristic, it would be that she always seems to call when I am masturbating. Most people would leave a message or a text. Brie likes to call over and over and over and over until I answer. While I love her, there is a special place reserved for her in Hell.

“Do you want to go to the gym tomorrow?”
“Yeah, sure. What time?”
“6:30?”
“AM or PM?”
“Have you ever gone to the gym at 6:30am before?”
“Hell no.”
“Have I ever gone to the gym at 6:30am before?”
“Maybe?”
“6:30pm.”

This is her other special skill: using sarcasm to push my buttons.
“Fine.”
“Ooh. Is grumpy Gus angry?”
“Yes.”
“It must have been a good one. What were you thinking about?”

I feel my face turn red. Brie is the only one of my friends that knows about my kinky side. She knows pretty much everything. I can’t imagine what a basket case I would be if I had no one to talk to about this. She doesn’t really get it, but she cares about me and wants what will make me happy. She’s special to me, but can get a bit cheeky at times.

“I was fucking you up the ass with a strap-on.” Two can play this game.
“Welcome back, Wanda. Ya gotta buy me dinner first.”
“It’s a good thing, MacBurger has a dollar menu. That’s where I take the hoes.”
“You’re so feisty when I interrupt you. Do you actually have a strap-on.”
“I would buy one just for you.”
“Speaking of which, how was fetish night?”

I have to pause for a moment. I don’t even know how to describe it.
“I will interpret your silence as it was either really good or really bad.”
“It was… amazing.”
“Tell me more…”
“First I met a guy and he bought me a drink.”
“And?”
“We talked. I teased him. He actually has a lot of potential.”
“Did you give him your number?”
“No. I didn’t tell him my name either.”

“Wanda, sometimes I have to question if you hit your head too many times playing badminton.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“He has potential, so you didn’t give him your name or phone number.”
“I left him a trail of breadcrumbs.”
“Will he be able to follow that trail?”
“I’m certain of it. He was eerily perceptive. He could see through me. He was also extremely polite… but naive and shy at the same time.”
“Did he give you tingles?”

I press my hand to the side of my face. I try to live my life without regrets. Telling Brie about my ‘tingles’ was a failure on that front.
“Yes.”
“Ooh. What was he like? What was he like? What’s his name? Do you want to have his babies?”

Sometimes I wish I had Brie’s energy. Other times I want to tell her to lay off the crack.
“His name is David.”
“Was he tall, dark, and handsome?”
“He was, well, my height. And Asian. He had very expressive eyes and smiled a lot.”
“Of course he smiled. You’re a hottie.”

I pause and reflect some more.
“Why aren’t you more excited?”
“I don’t know. I feel off when I think about it.”
“You’re scared. He scared you. He scared the hell out of you.”

Delicacy is not one of Brie’s strengths. I get a little flustered that she is usually right.
“Yes. He did.”
“So that breadcrumb trail. Part of you wants him to fail. Part of you wants him to succeed.” She’s right again.
“He’s supposed to message me when he finds me.”
“Let me guess. You’ve put off checking your messages today.”

I grit my teeth. She’s a demon.
“I have to get going, Brie.”
“To finish masturbating or to check your messages?”
“Do I have a choice?”
“I’ll let you go check your messages but if you want to hang up on me to masturbate, my sixth sense will know and I’ll call you back.”
“I’m going to check my messages.”
“Good girl. See you at the gym tomorrow.”

I hang up without saying goodbye. I toss my vibrator onto the floor and grab my laptop from the nightstand. I login to kinklife and check my messages. Operation weed out the dbags is a success. I click ‘select all,’ uncheck the boxes with onomatopoeia in the subject line, uncheck the boxes sent from women. Delete. Well, I can only do 200 at a time but what used to take half an hour now takes 2 minutes. I high five the air. Go, me! The applause rains down on me in my mind.

21 messages remain after the mass purge. I delay the inevitable and go after the low-hanging fruit. I open the message from Mandygirl159, the woman who wrote to me yesterday. Her message is very shy but rather sweet. I pass on my yoohoo messenger info and ask her if she would like to chat and maybe get some coffee soon. She’s so young. 24. I wish I had known what I wanted at 24.

Let the screening begin. I get a bit puzzled that someone would read my profile, do the work to write to me with a thoughtful message and follow all of the instructions but conveniently ignore the “If you want to be my submissive, I will only consider those that are local” part of my profile. I delete but do not block. This might seem cruel, but I think it would be more unfair to take away time from the people who are local and followed all of the instructions. I’ve learned to pick my battles. If they had asked just for friendship, I would treat it differently, but I’m not very good at friendship with men.

Robert is the exception. He was the one that knew it wouldn’t work out. I think that helped me to trust him. If he’s not trying to get into my bed, then he must truly enjoy my company. At first I used to entertain a lot of the sycophants that would write to me and boost my ego, but again, there’s only so many hours in the day and to reach my goals, I am better off focusing my time on the people who have actual potential for me. Wow. That sounds like I have finally developed some actual self-esteem. I really have come a long ways in four years.

I continue the screening. 1 maybe, but not likely. Comparing his words and his profile, it seemed a little bit insincere. Just a gut feeling. Sadly, my gut is usually right. I save a specific message for last. RagnAzn_4u. I hover the mouse over the message, before clicking.

“Thank you, MsFoXXXy, for the wonderful chat at the club and allowing me the privilege of buying you a drink. I hope that I didn’t come off too awkward, I’m not usually very good at trying to impress a woman. It makes me nervous. I also feel kind of slimy approaching strangers based only upon appearances. I wanted to be brave.

I want you to know that I meant everything that I said. You are the most beautiful woman. Reading your profile and the posts you have made only reaffirms this belief to me. Everything about you is beautiful.

I don’t like trying to sell myself because I believe you are out of my league in every possible way. You’re pretty, smart, funny, warm, and cruel (as well as many other things, too many to list here). I know that you could do so much better than me. I almost didn’t write to you but I wanted to be brave.

At the club I felt like I was seeing the real you. In the past year or two, fetish night is the only time I feel like I can be the real me.

You asked me a question before we parted ways. I thought about it long and hard. I couldn’t sleep that night until I had my answer. My answer to you is this: I would do anything for the one that I love. While the thought of being denied pleasure is not a pleasant one, it is not a question that I can answer in a vacuum. What I can say is that when I love, I love with my all. If the one I loved chose to deny me, I would accept her reasons. I would be happy if she was happy.

Through loss I have learned with love to never hold back. There is no half-way. If showing the depth of my love requires sacrifice, I will gladly make that sacrifice.

I can’t fully answer your specific question because I do not know the answer for certain. I barely know you. I definitely don’t know you well enough to love you. You don’t know enough about me to love me. What I can say is that from what I have read from you, you seem like someone that I would want to be with. You seem like someone that I could love. Only then could I answer that question for you with certainty.

I’m going to go ahead and send this message before my courage betrays me. I really hope that you will choose to write me back. If not, I want to say that it was an absolute pleasure to meet you. I hadn’t felt that kind of hope in years. No matter what, I will remember that night at the club for the rest of my life.

Take care, ma’am.
-David”

I make a whining noise and mess up my hair with my fingers. This boy. I reread his words and my heart continues to shudder. If I hadn’t met him in person, I’m not sure I would believe his words. I’m not being fair with him. If he had said no to the chastity question I would have written him off. If he had just said yes to the chastity question I would have written him off. Why is it that when I think I’m being so clever I just end up trapping myself?

I click and follow his profile without responding. I need to mull this over. I’m being a chicken.

I close the laptop and move it back to the nightstand. Where the hell is my vibrator? I climb off the bed and begin lifting up some clothes that I left on the floor. I decide that this is all Brie’s fault. I pick up all the clothes. I move the bag that I should have put back in the closet. Life hates me sometimes. Now is one of those times.

I finally find it after crawling around on all fours for way longer than I should have and I bashed my elbow on the chair leg and ugh. Remind me to sacrifice a goat to Zeus or whatever. I roll my head in wide circles to stretch my neck. I hate feeling this tense. I know one cure.

I climb back onto the bed and take my place upon the boy’s face. It feels so good. I let him do the work this time. I just relax and take my place in heaven. I let out a low moan.

Beep boop beep beep. Beep boop beep beep. I’m going to kill you, Brie. Beep boop beep beep.
“What?”
“I figured you’d be done responding to messages by now and that you would want to just chat.”
“You are the devil.”

I throw the vibrator across the room and pull a pillow over my face.
“It sounds like you don’t want to talk.”
“I’ll talk. Get it out of your system, because you couldn’t wait to talk until tomorrow when we meet at the gym.”
“So did your Asian prince write to you?”

I try to suffocate myself with the pillow. I will have to tell her everything or this will never stop. Oh, and in case you were wondering, I have an appointment at Cassandra’s shop on Friday.

Return to the Table of Contents

Advertisements

11 thoughts on “fs02: A Domme’s View – Arc 1 – Chapter 4

    1. Thank you, Nora. Something I have noticed over time is that as Dommes get more and more jaded with their experiences that they form a habit of keeping potentials at arm’s length. The impulse becomes one where they almost need the sub to break through a series of defenses since it is hard to believe this one is the good one.

      Take care.

      Liked by 1 person

        1. Thank you. I agree with you. I think why it is so noticeable in D/s dating is that these are people who are actively seeking partners. I find in the vanilla realm people are often closed off to “chance encounters” but different when they are seeking a companion.

          Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s