fs02: A Domme’s View – Arc 2 – Chapter 22

Chapter 22

I spend the morning getting ready. I did a lot of prep-work last night to make sure that everything would be ready for today. I’m doing my entire body prep. I don’t know why. I don’t have to impress him. Scratch that. I do know why. I want to intimidate him. I want to make him feel like I am so far out of his league that he should feel lucky that I allow him to speak to me. I want to feel like I have him wrapped around my little finger. This is who I am, Freddie. You will experience me in my full glory and not something done out of pity.

I dress to kill. I find myself choosing the same outfit that I wore the night I met David. I’m sure that he would approve. It was hot enough to make him smitten. I’m sure it would work on anyone. I slide into the leather pants and the deep red blouse. I smirk. We’ll be staying indoors but I plan to wear everything, including the boots and fur coat. This is me. This is Wanda.

A bit of doubt creeps in. Why am I doing this? I don’t know. I don’t know how I feel. I only know what I want. I don’t know if that is possible with him. Resolve, Wanda.

Emotional uncertainty. Uncomfortable vulnerability. These have always been your flaws, Wanda. They surface and you get scared. When you get scared you want to run. Why should I be afraid of little Freddie? If anything, he should be afraid of me.

I despise this teetering confidence. You know better. You’ve seen what you can do. I hate being afraid.

I draw the blinds in the living room. This is for no one’s eyes but ours. Nerves. Relax, Wanda. My phone beeps. A message from Fcsie.

“Be brave. You have always been able to face your fears. Have courage. You know you will never back down and compromise who you are. Have faith. Love is a powerful thing. I believe in you.”

I look around for the hidden cameras again. Cheeky bastard. Thank you for telling me exactly what I needed to hear. It’s nearly time. I close my eyes. The strength I have gained was a gift from you, David. Please let me stay strong. Don’t let me falter.

I hear a car enter the driveway. I take a breath. The doorbell. I take my time and answer it with an air of confidence. Freddie stands there, holding a single red rose. He fidgets. I can tell he is feeling awkward. I nod and he enters.

“You look amazing, Wanda.”
“Thank you, Freddie.”
“Is that for me?”

He stumbles upon his words.
“Umm, yes, Yes. I brought this for you.”

He extends his hand and passes me the flower. I remember the other man that gave me a single rose. I weaken. Take the power back. Prod him.
“Too cheap to afford the entire bouquet?”

He reacts like I just kicked his dog.
“I’m joking, Freddie. The rose is lovely. Thank you.”

He shudders a little with his next breath. He removes his shoes and places them on the mat. I lead the way into the living room. I seat myself in a chair. He edges his way to the couch, studying me intently. I shake my head. He points at another chair.

“I want you to kneel.”
His eyes widen and he points at the floor. I nod. I watch this boy kneel before me. I look at his pants. He’s pitching a tent. I smirk.

What were you worried about, Wanda? Boys are boys. I prod him.

“So why are you here, Freddie?”
“Umm, because you told me to be here.”
“Truthfully, Freddie. Why are you here?”
“I want to be here.”
“Why?”

I watch his body quiver. I smirk again.
“Wanda, I…”
“Why?”
“Because I love you. I always have.”

I nod. They others were right. I need to be certain. This will hurt you, Freddie.
“Thank you for your honesty. I don’t love you.”

He nods. His eyes look like I just tore his soul out. His voice cracks a little.
“Then why did you sle…”
“Speak only when spoken to, Freddie.”

He nods.
“Do you want to leave?”
He shakes his head.
“Answer in words.”
“No.”
“No, what?”
“No, ma’am.”
“Better.”

I tap my fingers on the end of the armrest. He remains focused on my eyes. Good boy.
“So Freddie, if you know that I don’t love you, why don’t you want to leave?”
“You’re finally back. I can’t lose you again.”
“Properly.”
“You’re finally back, ma’am. I can’t lose you again.”
“Better. That isn’t a reason, Freddie. Try again.”
“Why are you doing this, Wanda?”
“Shut up. Answer the question or get out.”

The tears well up in his eyes. His mouth curls downward. I watch him rock his head back and forth. I’ve seen this before in boys. He’s feeling pathetic but doesn’t want to admit it. I tap my finger. He blurts out his answer.
“I don’t know, ma’am. I just want to be in your life in any capacity.”

The words twist my heart. You dirty bastard. Those aren’t your words. You aren’t allowed to use those words. Those words belong to David. Steel, Wanda. Be steel.
“Don’t you dare utter that phrase ever again.”

I close my eyes and try to hide my emotions. I take a breath. Composure, Wanda.
“You’re scaring me, Wanda.”
Wrong move, Freddie.

“Shut up. Don’t ever speak unless spoken to or unless I tell you to. I will scare you. I’m terrifying. I’m the woman of nightmares, Freddie. I will break you and hurt you and use you and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

He lowers his eyes. I stand up from the chair. He flinches.
“This is who I am. This is the real me. This is Wanda. I take and I take and I take and I use and I use and I use, and I fucking love it. So I scare you? I scare you? Good! That’s what I want. I want you to tremble at the thought of defying me. I don’t want to be friends with you Freddie. I don’t do just friends. This is me. I had the greatest man on the face of the Earth and he died. He died and left me all alone. He loved me like this. He loved me for who I am. He loved everything that I am. You waltz in here with these puppy dog eyes and childhood sweetheart fantasies and tell me that you love me. Bullshit.”

I slap him across the face with my gloved hand.
“Do you like that? Huh? Do you like that? This is what I do.”
I slap him again and again and again. He begins to sob.
“Tell me Freddie, if this is me, is this what you want? Do you still love this?”

“Yes!”

He prostrates himself and weeps into the carpet. I catch my breath. A tear runs down my cheek. My voice calms.
“I don’t love you, Freddie. My love must be earned through devotion, service, and obedience. Do you understand?”

His voice cracks and gargles through his tears.
“Yes! I already knew all this…”
“What?”
“I already knew all this. Who do you think you are, Wanda? What do you think you were like as a girl? THIS was you. This IS you. Don’t you think I know this already? Think about what you used to do to me. Think about everything you did to me. That time you tied me up and locked me in the closet. That time you left me handcuffed to the tree for hours. The time you put me in the locker at school. The time you locked me in the porta-potty. The time you tied me to the flagpole in winter wearing your hat. I know you better than anyone. The real you. You used to take my cookies. You used to take my candy. You used to take my money. You took everything from me. You acted like I gave it to you but you took it.”

He raises his head again and looks up at me.
“I always knew, Wanda. I always knew if I stopped doing what you told me to that you would find someone else. If I stopped letting you use me and take from me. You would find someone else and I would be all alone. Do you know what hurt me so badly when you stopped being my friend? It wasn’t that I lost a friend, it was that you stopped being you. You started faking it for all of them. You changed. The girl I would have died for vanished.”

He closes his eyes.

“Wanda, It makes me so happy to see that you are the same girl I loved. I want you. This is the woman that I want. I want you. I want the real you. I love the real you.”

I sit back in the chair. I cover my face with my hands. I weep. Stupid, Wanda. Cass was right. I don’t see things how others see things. I sob.
“Wanda, can I hug you?”

I nod. I feel his arms wrap around me. I feel the walls around my heart fall. I’m so confused. He releases me and returns to his knees. I clear my throat.
“How much do you know about domination and submission, Freddie?”
“A bit, ma’am.”
“How much are you willing to learn?”
“I will learn everything there is to know about it if it means that I can be near you, ma’am.”

Don’t say these things unless you mean them, Freddie.
“Are you willing to be trained within an inch of your life?”
“Yes, ma’am. Whatever it takes.”
“Will you let me whip you with a belt until you scream and your skin blisters?”
“Yes, ma’am. Whatever it takes.”
“Will you accept being locked in a cage for hours when you have been bad?”
“Yes, ma’am. Whatever it takes.”
“Will you let me lock your penis up in a steel cage and have it never know the pleasure of another orgasm ever again?”

He pauses. I don’t blame him.
“Yes, ma’am. Whatever it takes.”
“Will you master the art of pleasuring a woman and do so without any expectation of reciprocation?”
“Yes, ma’am. Whatever it takes.”
“Will you live for me?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Will you suffer for me?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Will you love me with the entirety of your being?”
“Yes, ma’am. I already do.”

Oh, Freddie. I hope you know what you’re agreeing to. If you fail me I will never forgive you.

“Well, then. I suppose you have earned the chance to serve me and earn my love.”

He looks up at me with those innocent eyes. A smile beams across his face. I smile back at him.
I don’t love you, yet, Freddie. I will give you this chance. Don’t let me down. 700 men a day write to me asking for this place at my feet.

“Your life will revolve around me. I will be giving you assignments and resources to read. I expect you to master every concept and idea. I expect you to practice your skill and hone them to perfection. You will be my slave. The joy you receive will be from existing in my presence and by the joy you bring to me. We will start slow but I am cruel and I expect only the best.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Good. Now worship my feet.”

I extend one leg and watch him fiddle with my boot. Silly boy. A feeling starts brewing in my chest. It’s been so long that I barely recognize it. This is the seed of hope. Please let it take root and grow. I want to be happy again. I deserve to be happy again. He slides the boot from my foot and begins caressing it through the stocking. Silly boy. We take the stocking off first in this house. I’ll have to beat you for that.

I feel his hands get to work. Clumsy. Well, inexperienced is probably a better word. I will teach you and you will learn or I will find someone else who will. Oh, that’s actually just right. I let out a little moan. Oh, silly boy, a moan means more, not move. I give a small laugh at this path that I have chosen. Please let it be the right one.

My mind wanders. He needs a slave name. Freddie Sanford. fs02? Nah, that would get too confusing. Maybe I will have to go with James after all.

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6 thoughts on “fs02: A Domme’s View – Arc 2 – Chapter 22

        1. Definitely. If you’re with someone with more experience than you, you are being scruitinised and your mistakes are obvious. When it’s someone new who is learning from you, you are boss. They won’t see the mistakes an experienced person would. I feel like the authority, the one who isn’t questioned.

          Liked by 1 person

        2. That is only if they are judging you. From a submissive standpoint I look more to build up than to tear down. That being said, I think there is a difference when people are seeking sexual experiences or mental experiences. When seeking mental experiences you tend to go with the flow, while with physical ones I can see a sub thinking that you aren’t spanking them correctly.

          Liked by 1 person

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